Before we had our digital nomad family “launch,” I had a rather simplistic view of what this roaming life would feel like in action. Basically, I figured there would be three phases each time we went somewhere: Landing, Living, & Leaving. Now that we’ve been slow traveling for over a year through 4 different long-stay locations (with faster travel in between), I have come to realize that there are, in fact, 7 phases we experience in our “Slo-mad” lifestyle.
If you’re a slow traveler yourself, then these may be familiar. If not, then it may be interesting how these phases match (or not) your own travel style.
So, let me give you some insights into how we make our “slo-mad” life work through the 7 phases of slow travel…
The 7 Phases of Slow Travel
We have now been a full-time digital nomad family for over a year, but we knew from the beginning that slow travel was going to be the best fit for us. (I shared my story of fast-travel burnout just last week, which explains how I knew we’d focus on slow traveling.)
However, one of the biggest lessons learned for us was that we really do prefer roughly four months per location. When we first started discussing our nomad family vision we thought 3 months and 4 places each year sounded pretty good. So, our first 3 long stops we booked for roughly 3 months each (the first one was actually just 10 weeks… and that was definitely too short, although that turned out to be a blessing in some ways).
Now, we appear to be settling into a yearly rhythm, which we have planned for 2020:
- January-April – Winter Long Stay
- May-June – New England Family time – all our birthdays are in here, so it’s nice to go “home” to see family and friends around this time of year.
- July-October – Summer/Fall Long Stay
- November-December – Holidays & New England Family Time
Now, there are going to be places and times in the future when that cadence won’t be possible (90-day Schengen visas in Europe, etc.) However, what we’ve discovered is that these longer stays allow us to really feel comfortable and settled, while still being able to explore an area thoroughly.
The part that you don’t fully appreciate until you live it is each place you stay for an extended time has this 7 phase experience, so here are each of the phases laid out.
Phase 1 – Landing & Unpacking (roughly 2 days)
Often, we arrive at a new place in the late afternoon/early evening. So, typically on that first evening all that happens is unloading the car, setting up my daughter’s crib area (although she’ll be transitioning out of the crib very soon, so that will become easier), and finding a restaurant for dinner.
Then, the first full day is the big “unpacking process.” I also start making a list of the gaps we find… a.k.a. items that we know we’ll need but aren’t provided by this Airbnb. Some of these items will get picked up later that day at a local store. Other’s will get ordered for delivery from Amazon and arrive over the first week.
There’s also the first big grocery shopping run. Some Airbnbs have staples in the pantry, so usually I’m doing a quick inventory of what’s already there and creating the big list that includes many of our usual staples: flour, sugar, olive oil, etc.
Phase 2 – Setting up Life (roughly 2-3 days)
This phase starts with getting comfortable in our new home and moving things around to make them work for us. Usually, this includes re-arranging furniture or re-organizing the kitchen and bathroom to remove items that we know we won’t use during our stay. I’m a big fan of not losing prime real estate in my kitchen and bathroom cabinets to items that aren’t going to be actively functional for us.
This phase is also when I’m going to the post office to make sure that we’ll be able to receive mail or packages at our new home address (which usually involves submitting a simple form… but has occasionally included literally buying and setting up a mailbox or P.O. Box.)
I also always find the local library and open an account which ensures we have a great supply of books for our Pumpkin (and access to resource books for me and Brian too, which occasionally comes in handy.) One of the unexpected benefits of having library cards all over the place is that many local libraries provide access to certain digital media services too like Libby and Overdrive for ebooks and audio books, or our new favorite which is Kanopy (particularly Kanopy Kids,) which has a great selection of kids programs from Daniel Tiger to Sesame Street, but also many of The Great Courses! Awesome educational content… all for free.
Usually, this is also the period when we’re researching and setting up appointments with local service providers including finding a local chiropractor, pediatrician & urgent care clinic (just in case), gym, yoga studio, and most importantly child care/preschool.
After our massive challenges with child care last fall in New York, we’ve always done interviews and chosen a childcare option prior to arriving in each location. However, as happened in Washington, sometimes it just doesn’t end up being a fit. After 2+ solid weeks of hysterical tears at drop-off at the first place we tried in Washington (something utterly unheard of for our Pumpkin,) we decided we needed to find an alternative.
So, I went back to the drawing board… and thank goddess for Facebook Mom’s groups! Seriously… they are the #1 best place to get recommendations for all of the local service providers if you’re a mama. They’re also great places to find the local mom tribe and start making local friends.
Phase 3 – Getting to know the neighborhood (1-2 weeks)
During this phase, we’re essentially just getting to know where everything is and trying different places out – different cafes, different grocery stores or markets, and just learning how to get between the commonly visited places. This is the phase that many people who “move” feel frustrated by, but I actually rather enjoy this phase. It’s all about exploring your new home town and getting fun surprises about the cool local parks, great places to walk, or which cafe has the most comfortable seats and a nice couch by a fireplace.
Usually, this phase is also when we start doing the serious research and making our “lists” for – breweries, vineyards, restaurants, museums, “things to do,” hikes/walks, events, playgroups, etc. Essentially, these lists become our a menu of options for places we could choose to go or experiences to have rather than a checklist. Some feel highly compelling and happen early. Others never happen, no worries. Maybe a future trip!
We keep “The List” for each place in a shared Evernote note in our “Travels” notebook with all the relevant links (to websites, yelp reviews, Facebook events, etc.) and that list becomes the best place to go when we look at each other after breakfast on a random Saturday saying… “So, what do we want to do today?” Some things we plan in advance a few days, but often this is where we get very spontaneous. We consider the weather or our energy level on a given day and choose an activity that’s a good fit.
I started doing this research from the beginning of our DN journey and developed a “template” that I use to remind us of our favorite categories to collect, but I think this process will be constantly evolving as we get better and better at fine-tuning our travels.
I also think we are continuing to get better at doing the research before or early after landing because we’ve definitely had a few times where we hit on something awesome just before we leave and feel like we’re kicking ourselves that we hadn’t discovered it earlier… i.e. an awesome brewery nearby with a great kids play space or a park with a great waterfront walk. There may always be those last-minute discoveries… but just a bit more early effort might help us find them more easily and earlier.
Phase 4 – Exploring and Living Here (3+ months in the middle)
This phase is the super fun time that starts usually 2-3 weeks after we arrive. Daily life is feeling comfortable and settled, and now we’re really getting out to play and see the new place we’ve landed in. The logistics of settling are largely resolved, and we’re building our daily routines in our new home and neighborhood. Now, this bulk of our time is living like a local but with all the fun of exploring like a traveler.
We do our work, our daughter gets to play and make new friends, and we explore the area together. We find things close to home that we can do in the afternoons and adventures for weekend day trips. We also consider if there are nearby places that would be worth planning a long weekend trip to explore like our weekend in Vancouver this past November.
This phase is also when we occasionally get visits from family and friends, which can be fun because we get to show them around our new world and explore a bit together. This phase is the joyful and yet relaxed section of just living and playing somewhere new.
Phase 5 – Wrapping up (about 2 weeks prior to departure)
This period is when we’re:
- Depleting our pantry of food
- Selling off items via FB Marketplace that we picked up to make things feel homey during our stay
- Submitting our mail forwarding cards to the post office
- Dropping off out-grown clothes with friends or charities
- Saying our goodbyes
Life often feels bittersweet during these last two weeks. Even if we’re feeling “done” and ready to move on, it can be sad to say goodbyes to people and places that we’ve grown to love. I consistently remind myself to bring back the gratitude. This lifestyle brought us together with specific people in this magical place and time, and I’m unbelievably grateful for some of our new friends.
I’m intentionally making efforts to ensure that we stay in touch with people we’ve connected with in each of our locations, and I know that, in reality, we are consistently growing the network of amazing people in our lives with each new place we move.
I’m even planning some of our upcoming road trips between long-stay locations to make sure we swing through past places to spend time with and say hi to our friends. So, as the French would say… “Au Revoir”… until we see each other again.
Phase 6 – Packing up (1-2 days before departure)
The packing process begins about 1-2 days before Travel Day with laundry, pulling out all the suitcases, and making decisions about what’s staying versus flying back with us. Our situation is different from many other digital nomads because (for now) we’re basically leaving our car and most of our regular stuff on the US West Coast and flying back east to New England for 5-6 weeks between each of our long stays. When we start traveling internationally, then this will all change again.
For now, I’m constantly having to reconfigure how things get packed i.e. what’s staying west vs. what’s flying east based partially on what we’ll need to use during our “trip home.” However, on this most recent trip there were a bunch of things that Pumpkin has outgrown which are being put into storage (our entire cloth diaper stash, *sniffle* loved our Glow Bug Diapers, and our travel crib). The good news is that there will be a LOT more room in the car with these bulky items removed.
These changes also mean that packing up can be a much more intense process of decision-making for us rather than just “stick our stuff in bags.” Each time we make new decisions for this move and what’s really worth taking with us. Sometimes items that were essentials before become less so… for instance, our inflatable baby tub is now gone. It was essential in Arizona when our Pumpkin was 18-months old and there was no bathtub. Now at 2+, she does just fine with showers, so that’s not needed any more.
Typically, it takes me about 2 days to make all those decisions and get everything packed or passed along to the right people.
Phase 7 – Travel Day!
Even though we do our absolute best to pack everything before we go to bed the night before travel day, it always amazes me that it still takes a solid 2-3 hours in morning to get the last items in our bags and final bags in the car.
This final morning is also when we “reset” the space and do our best to put all the furniture and items back where they were before our stay so the host won’t be going bonkers or confused about where everything ended up.
Typically, over this last couple days I start a list of “FYIs” for the host too. Then, on departure day I draft that final email to our host to express our gratitude and let them know about any details that might benefit from their attention prior to their next guest.
Most of our hosts have been so grateful to have such a thorough list because often their short-term guests never notice or give them feedback about things that are just a bit wonky or need some TLC (like the tears in the screen door, the chair leg that really needs repair, or the recessed light bulb that needs to be replaced but was way too high for us to reach without a 10+ ft. ladder.)
I also let them know if they are running low on any common staples (TP, coffee, dishwasher tabs, etc.) that they would normally have stocked for new guests. Is this necessary? No, but usually we have such good relationships with our hosts by this point that it feels like a good way to leave with some care and grace.
And that’s it! We’re off to the next nice place on our adventures… and starting the cycle over again.
What’s Next
As I mentioned early, we’ve been bopping back and forth between the West and East US coasts for the past year, and we’ll be continuing to do that for 2020 as well. Due to Brian’s remote corporate job we are required to stay in the US (in one of their 35+ approved states), so until we can retire him from that job we are restricted for our possible travel destinations.
However, there are so many beautiful areas of the US, and here’s what we’ve got booked for 2020:
- New Year’s Week Road Trip – Tacoma, WA to New Mexico
- January – April – Santa Fe, NM
- May-June – New England Visit, then NM -> OR Road Trip – Including Yellowstone National Park
- July- Early November – Portland, OR
- Mid-November – December – New England w/ Family
So, if you’ve got GREAT recommendations for Santa Fe or Portland, then feel free to leave them here in the comments or DM me on Instagram @ChosenCourse.
Looking forward to our 2nd year as a Digital Nomad Family.
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