Why am I here? What is my purpose? I want to do something more fulfilling with my life. I have heard so many different people express these questions and desires, and I understand deeply the yearning that they represent.
Recently, I finished a wonderful book by neurosurgeon Dr. Eban Alexander called Proof of Heaven, which chronicles his experience of what happened beyond during his own 7-day coma and how it has completely changed his formerly materialistic scientific perspective to create greater space for the spiritual.
While the story he tells is fascinating and compelling, it’s the afterward that I most enjoyed. In particular, Dr. Alexander says that we all have a yearning for two things:
1) To develop, to fulfill our potential as unique individual sparks of divinity.
2) To return to oneness.
I would agree, although I would rephrase those desires slightly…
1) We all have a desire to learn and grow, to develop our potential, to manifest our gifts even more fully… To live on purpose.
2) We have a desire to serve others, to create connection with others, to experience oneness as lived here not only in the beyond.
By seeking our own purpose we are, in effect, fulfilling both of these goals. We are developing our own potential and manifesting our gifts, AND we are serving others and creating a greater sense of connection and oneness.
That’s why opening ourselves to this essential question… What is my purpose… is so irresistible. Many whole books have been written about how to find your answer to the question, and indeed I devote a chapter to it in my own upcoming book Meaning & Method: Create More Purpose, Productivity, and Peace in Your Life. But, let me offer you the cliff’s notes version of an answer.
Purpose is a Personal Journey
First, no one but you knows the answer to this question. This is your journey of inquiry to take, and it begins by “living in the question.” Simply opening yourself to seeking an answer, and living in that space of open curiosity each day makes it virtually inevitable that you will find your answer.
Then, once you open yourself to the question, in general I have seen two roads that can lead you even more directly to your answer. For simplicity’s sake I will call them the inner road and the outer road.
The Inner Road – Dowsing for Purpose
The inner road is one of meditation and inspiration. I often liken it to dowsing for water because you are attuning yourself to what you are seeking, then watching for a sign that you have found it. If you have any sense of your connection to the divine, however you phrase or understand it, then this road might feel natural for you.
It entails two steps:
- Get quiet and ask your higher self/divine connection/inner knowing two questions: Why am I here? What is my purpose? Then listen for its answer.
- Watch for a change in your internal state. You may experience this change as an internal welling of joy, a sense of rightness, a peaceful knowing, or an experience of awe. That inner shift is your dowsing rod telling you that you’ve uncovered something powerful and worth exploring deeply.
Your answer might arise the first time you enter this practice, or you might need to develop it as a regular practice for a while to open yourself even more fully and be ready to receive your answer.
The biggest challenge then becomes, not doubting when it does arise. Our minds are powerful, and we can talk ourselves into and out of things easily. But, your heart, your spirit, your soul knows the answer already. If you allow yourself to trust the answer when it’s given, then you’ll save yourself a lot of frustration and angst. When that shift occurs and your answer arises, then surround yourself with gratitude and fan the feeling of rightness that you’ve discovered.
The Outer Road – Identifying Impact
If the inner road feels too unusual for you, and meditation simply isn’t your thing right now. Then, you might prefer the outer road of reflection on your life. This process involves reflecting on your life and identify the times and places that have felt the most powerful, joyful, and impactful both for yourself and for others.
Often this brainstorming exercise is best done through reflection and writing. So, grab some paper or your journal, and ask yourself the following questions:
- What activities in my life have been the most enjoyable? Fun? Exciting?
- When have I experienced a sense of fulfillment? The true pleasure of accomplishment? The feeling of having done good work?
- What am I particularly gifted at? What do I do better than many people I know? What can I do easily that others find to be a struggle?
- When have I done something that provided a tremendous value or benefit to someone else? At what moments have I had the greatest impact on others?
- What would I like to have people say about me after I have gone? What legacy of feeling, actions, or experiences would I like to leave behind me?
As you write your answers, remember that you are brainstorming. There are no wrong answers. Capture everything that pops into your head, even if it seems silly, and definitely if it has nothing to do with your current work or job in the world. Don’t limit yourself. The world needs all sorts of people, and although your degree was in communications it might be your purpose and calling to become a baker and open a pie shop.
Once you’ve completed the brainstorming exercise, review your answers and watch for your internal state change. When do you feel that sense of joy rising up within you? Or during which of those events or activities have you felt it in the past? These are your clues.
Embracing Your Purpose
For some people walking these roads, clarity of purpose will come like a bolt from the blue, a sudden sense of calling. Or it might feel like the gentle pull of gravity, as if a zip line were pulling you straight toward your purpose.
Others might take some time repeating the exercises and becoming attuned to your internal shift of emotion and energy. The primary goal is to open your heart to seek your answer. Set your intention to become open to finding your purpose, to knowing your answer. This opening creates the conditions to make its discovery possible. After all, you will never find the answer to the question you don’t ask. Live in the question.
So, here’s my question for you… if you’re a seeker of purpose: which road will you choose and why? Or, if you’ve already found your purpose, then share your story of discovery with us and tell us what specifically let you know that was “it” for you?
I’d love to join the conversation with you in the comments below, so share your voice and thoughts.
