A client of mine, who’s on the verge of a major life transformation, said that in her current work she feels so “empty.” Many of us have had that experience at some point in our lives. The career or passion work that once sparked excitement and enthusiasm now feels draining and exhausting.
If this has been your experience lately, then you too might be ready to ask some big questions and open a new chapter in your life. Wherever you are in your current chapter (beginning, middle, or end), you can take steps to inject more meaning into your life. In Inspired Action, Chapter 41 (of 50 short chapters) explores how to reconnect with the “why” behind your everyday activities. I love this topic. Indeed, I wrote my masters’ thesis on “A Personal Theology of the Everyday Sacred.” I am fascinated by how different traditions approach making everyday actions meaningful, indeed spiritual.
In our bustling 21st century life, too often we feel disconnected from meaning. We do our actions each day by rote, repeating them with this sense of deep disconnection because they are “what we’re supposed to do.” But, what if I told you, that you are the one who can change that pattern. In fact, you are the only one who has the power to bring more meaning into your daily life, and there are only two key steps.
Get Curious About the Why
We draw meaning from knowing why something matters. “Why” questions, in general, can be slightly tricky, since they can sometimes lead to disempowering places (“Why does this always happen to me?” “Why can’t I do this right?” blah, blah, blah. BLECH!) If these are the why questions that have been zipping through your head, then you definitely want to learn how to ask more empowering questions. However, there is one “Why” question that we all benefit from asking: “Why does this matter to me?” or “Why is this important to me?”
When we ask ourselves why something is important, why it matters, we open ourselves to curiosity. And, you might find that the first answer your mind concocts is rather superficial and flippant. “Why is doing the laundry important to me? Because I don’t want to stink.” OK, that might be true, and I’m sure everyone who spends time with you is grateful that you don’t want to stink. But, what if you dig a bit deeper?
Why else is it important to you? Could it be part of your self-care? Could it help you feel more poised and confident? Maybe it helps you feel more attractive or empowered when you’re wearing clean clothes or sleeping on clean sheets? Perhaps it’s how you show love and care for your family? Are these good enough reasons to do the laundry?
I’m using laundry as a simple example, but apply the same curiosity to any area of your life and see what bubbles up. Why is this relationship important to me? Why is being a _________ (insert career title here) important to me? Why is making money important to me? If you can’t come up with a strong enough why for any specific action or portion of your life, then that might be a clue for you that something needs more attention, and possibly a change.
However, with a gentle dose of curiosity most things will have a clear, compelling why behind them. Once you know the why behind any specific action, then you can you’re ready for step 2.
Be Present
With your “why” in mind, it’s time to turn your mindless habit into a personal practice. The next time you go to start the laundry, pause. Take a deep breath (or two or three), then bring your full awareness and presence into this moment. Calm your zipping mind, and just be present, then connect with the feeling of your “Why.” Connect with how you feel when you’re attractive and empowered, or how you feel when you love and care for your family. Amplify that feeling for just a few breaths making it even stronger and clearer, then focus on keeping that feeling with you as you begin to do the task.
When you connect to and amplify the feelings that motivate your action you can’t help but bring more meaning to the task. You turn that static task into a personal ritual. When you do this practice the first time, just notice what’s different. Then, repeat it for a week or two, any time you do the task. What you’ll discover is that the task may begin to shift becoming easier, more fulfilling, and less draining. The sequence of actions will be the same, but you have changed. This mindset technique can be used to make any distasteful action, if not more appealing, at least less distasteful. And it can definitely turn mindless chores into meaningful personal rituals.
Next Actions
Claim your ability to bring meaning into your own life. You are the only one who can. What’s one task that you could test these two steps on today? Go for it… give it a whirl. After all, you’ve got nothing to lose and a whole world of meaning to gain.
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