“Why?” is a powerful question. Nevertheless, too often we misuse it. We ask ourselves a litany of “Why” questions that lead us down a path of frustration and disempowerment.
“Why does this always happen to me?”
“Why can’t I catch a break?”
“Why is she always so mean?”
These kinds of “Why” questions can lead us nowhere good when our mind come’s up with all sorts of unpleasant, disempowering and destructive answers. That’s why most of the time you’re better off asking a more empowering “What, How, or Who” question.
However, there is a Why question that is supremely empowering: “Why is this important to me?”
This question digs into your values and priorities, it brings them to light. Yet, it’s a question we don’t ask ourselves often enough. It’s a reflection question rather than an action question, and it can make all the difference to inspire your next level of action… allow me to explain.
We all need Motivation and Meaning
Most of us become bored and disengaged with mundane work if we don’t understand why it’s important. “How is this helping me, helping others, moving something I care about forward?” Can you remember the last time someone asked you to do something and didn’t tell you why? If it was a quick, painless task, then you might not have thought much of it. But, what about those activities that you needed to spend hours, days, or weeks on?
If you knew that collecting this data would influence major business decisions, might that help you get the task done? If you knew that raking the yard and composting the leaves would make your flowers next year brighter and healthier, would it make the task more meaningful?
Now, let’s apply this to the tasks that you’re asking yourself to do. How many things are on your To-do list right now? Do you know WHY they matter to you?
This concept is core to my work and why our tag line is “Productivity with Purpose.” We all work harder when we feel our actions have meaning and purpose behind them (something I also explore in my book Inspired Action). When we know that what we are doing is moving something we care about forward, then tasks become easier.
Is the WHY Yours or Someone Else’s
Similarly, we tend to avoid the actions that are on our lists that have showed up because someone else said we should care about them. Such tasks become relatively harder if we’re unclear how they connect to our values or purpose. As influencers and leaders (if only of your partner or kids), part of our responsibility is to inspire action in others, as well as ourselves. That’s why learning what motivates others and connecting our requests to those motivations is important. Just like clarifying the WHY behind our own decisions and actions…
For instance, someone told you that successful people always make their beds… baloney. If you don’t care about making your bed, then don’t. Everyone’s on Blab now, you’ve gotta get on there. Do you need a new social media presence? If not, then forget about it.
Sometimes our tasks and actions are being decided based on someone else’s priorities, ideas, or values rather than our own. That doesn’t mean that their idea is bad or wrong. It may be great, but you may need to find your own reasons to connect with it and act on it.
Your WHY can be Everything
One of my friends and teachers, Niurka, used to work for Tony Robbins, and she tells a story about how someone once asked Tony how he stays motivated. His response? “I don’t need motivation. My vision is so big that it pulls me toward it.” That’s a powerful why. That’s a sense of purpose. That’s the kind of compelling vision that we would all love to feel in our lives.
The same is true of many other highly successful people: Oprah, Sir Richard Branson, Larry Page & Sergy Brin (the founders of Google). Their BIG WHY drives their actions and decisions. Now, some of us have not yet found that BIG WHY. If you’re still a seeker, that’s ok. You can still ask “Why” to create clarity about the little things.
Next Actions
Take 10 minutes today, and look over your Master To-do list. Pause with each item and ask yourself “Why is this important to me?” If your first answer isn’t compelling, then ask again “Why else is this important to me?” If you ask the question repeatedly, and none of your answers feel compelling, then either delete it or move it into a “Someday Maybe” category. It’s just not important to you right now. That’s ok. If it ever is again, then it will reappear.
If when you ask the question “Why is this important to me?”, you just hear someone else’s voice telling you their reasons which aren’t compelling to you, then you’ll want to either go back to them for more clarification to find a why that connects with you, or you might want to renegotiate that task either with them or with yourself. Just because they think it’s important doesn’t necessarily mean that you have to do it.
Claim your ability to live with purpose and intention. Know why you choose to act or not act. This choice is your greatest power.
